The day before the day before I leave

Jack and I at Moeraki today. As you can see the weather is not 'spring-like'.

Clothes are scattered on the bedroom floor, yet to be tried on.

MD has succumbed to germs that sick children have surrounded us with and he is wheezing and snotting and generally making everyone near him miserable. I hope it's under control by Tuesday as I don't think I could stand three hours next to him on a plane. Every sneeze is accompanied by a self-pitying sigh or three and then there is the nose blowing...on and on and on...

Five hours today in a car and the front seat was swimming in tissues, eeewwghhhhhh! He was kind enough to wipe down the steering wheel when it was my turn to drive, he is thoughtful like that :-)

I'll pack tomorrow. I'm working Monday morning and then fly to Auckland that afternoon and by Tuesday afternoon will be reclining on a beach, a cool drink in one hand, a book in the other...bliss for 7 days.

Whoosh....

That's the sound of my assignment whizzing though the ether to the big marking school in the sky. My assignment is away and I am free from study - at least until I return from my holiday. Hurrah, hurrah, now I can think about packing, joy :-D

All +ve

It's going to be a lovely week. I have just looked back over my postings for 12 weeks and realised what a big moaner I am.. Possibly that's why I started in the first place - to stop driving MD and my family mad with my whining? Anyway, enough!

'All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well' so says my mate Julian of Norwich and I'm sure he knows all about it.

Ok, just one last wee moan...I took my 'after' photos today. And guess what? I don't look any different. Sigh. But I do feel different-so that can be what counts today :-) I think I am just not a bikini person and I will now accept that fact happily and get on with life.

Last gasp

Monday again and I fly out in seven days. It's that weird point were you realise that 12 weeks hasn't really made you bikini ready. Do you give up for the last week or persevere on, knowing that one week is not long enough to make any more difference?

I've eaten and exercised better than ever before and feel as fit as I have ever been in my life. But I have to accept that at 43, and having had four babies, my stomach just isn't up to public scrutiny. Oh well,...move on.

I still feel vaguely ill, headaches and sore ears and so on. I'm on all sorts of vitamins in the hope it will all just go away magically by next Monday and I will have a lovely week on the beach. The other alternative (too horrible to contemplate) is that by relaxing it will all come rushing in and I'll be sick for a week in a lovely warm place ;-)
I have ¾ of my assessment done and hope to have that finished on Wednesday, leaving 3 or 4 days to organise my packing. Can’t wait to get on that plane.

Breathless

Not physically because on Friday night I won a prize at my gym's dinner for being.....'The fastest women on the treadmill' Da, da!!! I got a beanie and a wheat bag - really random prize but rather that that a one-on-one session with Cindy in the pool. I've always wanted a running hat and this even has a wee tick on it. That was the end result of the winter challenge mention yonks ago. 9 weeks of treadmill, rower, bike and ski trainer boredom, teams of ten, and going the length of New Zealand. I'm very pleased (a) that it's over and (b) that I got a prize :-)

But, breathless I am because I'm going going holiday in 13 days and I'm not ready and I have too, too, too much to do. Why did I say I would host the bookbus lunch? Why did I arrange for lunch with my sister? Why is my child sick today? Why didn't I get off my arse and do my assignment earlier? Why did I arrange to have extra karate lessons at the weekend? Why have I done NO house work for months? Why do two of my friends have to have birthdays on Friday when I work? Why do I feel breathless when it's just life. Why do two of my children cough all night and sleep when I can't?

Make a plan and get on with it! Stop typing here and go and write about reference interviews. Yes, that sounds like fun, I'll go and do that.

Drs!

This is the list I took to the Dr this morning:
headaches all the time
gritty eyes
sore throat
sore glands
blocked ear
can't sleep
racing heart
tired, tired, tired
having too much panadol
sore elbow (random one, from karate incident)

he said I was fine and becasue i was sooooo fit my body was doing a really good job fighting off whatever bug was in me and he wouldn't give me any pills! $35 to be told I'm fine, when it's perfectly obvious that I'm not. Hmmph! I have some blood test to do tomorrow morning too, fasting ones, so I can't eat from 8pm to 8am. So guess when Jo is going to have a mighty craving?? Oh about 9pm tonight I'd say.

And I haven;t done any study and I feel like CRAP and it's only two weels to my holiday and I want to feel well.
So bloody there!

Brain fog

I have had my first yellow belt karate class, two in fact. One kata class one on one with MD. He is very complimentary which makes it hard to know if he means it or loves me. Hopefully both.

It has been hard to get back the enthusiasm for training and eating well since the grading. I just feel tired all the time.

Really starting to look forward to our holiday but I have several study assessments to complete and I'm panicking about finishing them, well starting them really. Another day laid to waste as I type.

I have been researching Noumea through blogs and found the perfect sight to explore, to the point of connecting with someone in Noumea. I want to pass this all on to MD but don't want him discovering my blog. Not that there is anything very exciting here, just that once he knows it is here it will no longer be mine. I don't like to share :-) no surprise there.

My eating is going well. I seem to have lost the ability to gorge, but am still mightily attracted to sweet food. The thought of this body in a bikini is, mostly, enough of a goal to stop any wayward eating. The exercise component needs to step up a bit. Tone, tone, tone - it just never quite happens. I can feel a body just hovering underneath my skin and I don't know if it is fear of attaining a goal that drives me to eat just that little too much or to do just that little too little in the gym. Our brains are wonderfully scary things.

I am so tired of being me