Intimacy issues

You know you have intimacy problems when you get really, really, really, shitty at your husband for taking music off a new CD and not asking if it was OK.

His response to my curt “Shouldn’t you ask before you take that?” Was, “Take what?” “My music.” “Since when is it yours and not ours?” he asks patiently. “Since always!” was my snappy comeback.

I am totally pathetic – but it IS mine and I DON'T like sharing!

Snip snip

Snippets today…

• Baby-sat Phoebe today, for eight hours. Exhausting! She’s seven months old and perfect in everyway, but such a lot of work – and my back!

• Took my father out of his, seemingly permanent, residence in the psych ward for a quick trip to a barbershop and then to a shoe shop for slippers (his are wearing out, funny enough). This was almost as exhausting as babysitting Phoebe - which I was doing simultaneously. I had to put on his seat belt, and he shuffles so slowly that I think Phoebe would beat him just rolling along (she’s not crawling yet – she would win hands down then).

• Visited my Aunty Val, taking Phoebe to show her off! Was forced to eat a piece of fudge that I didn’t need.

• Had six people home (Phoebe’s home) for lunch, who only came because I was there. This including both husbands! Sausage rolls and pancakes – weird food, but all that was there.

• Missed a karate class because husband was at a lecture, one son was at ice hockey, one son at rugby practice and we just ran out of transport options.

• Gave my daughter a glass of Port today after school in my everlasting efforts to find something to curb her whooping cough. We are into the fifth week of what is expected to be a 12-16 week cough. Poor Zoë is exhausted and I am frustrated that nothing works. We are all so tired of her coughing. I timed her today and she coughs 8-10 time a minute!

• Ate an entire bag of chips while feeding Phoebe.

If this seems to be all about Phoebe – well it is – I am a besotted God Mother :-)

Marae Visit

We learnt a new song ‘E rere te manu’ and a couple of haka ‘Hau kiwi’ and ‘Tenei te ruru’, went for walks, ate and slept. The fantastic weather meant that we were able to have all of our practices in front of the wharenui (meeting house).
The sleeping arrangements were rows of mattresses lined up in the wharenui and anyone sleeps anywhere. The children looked like a big heap of puppies playing, laughing and reading before they settled down for the night.

There was a compulsory performance at night. I got away lightly with singing a chorus to one of Seán’s Gaelic song ‘An poc ar buile’ while Jack showed off a few of his new karate moves. Others sung, told stories and showed string games.

Seán’s parents had a great time and fitted in well. Kaumatua (elders) are very respected in the Maori world and they were always included and deferred too. They got special beds raised up of the floor and chairs were always brought out for them while we were lounging on the floor. They were not excluded from the performance either and come up with an Irish blessing they had sung at our wedding.
The Otakou Marae is situated at the end of the Otago peninsula and commands a glorious view of the harbour entrance.

Dull old week in Dunners

Just so little happening, work is busy but life isn’t. My life is taken up with lots of crappola, but just nothing to get excited about.

My father is back in hospital. He’s been in, out, in and then to a rest home and then back into the psych. ward over the last five months. My brother is over from Australia this week so we are having a family conference this afternoon, with the doctors, to see what can be done with a depressed old man. I am so tired of it/him and there seems to be no light at the end of this particular tunnel.

My parents-in-law are down for the weekend arriving tomorrow. They are the same age as dad, but fit and healthy. What they don’t know is that they are going to be staying on a marae with us overnight on Saturday! Our waiata (singing) group is going to learn a few new songs and by staying at Otakou Marae we will be infused with Maori culture and hopefully the songs will have more meaning for us.

It's not easy being green...

I'm at the back - 4th from the left - still in yellow :-)

What’s to say? Very, very pleased it is over. I don’t think it was actually harder than my 5th kyu grading but I was far more nervous about it all. Nights spent doing kata, kihon, yakusoku and self defenses in my head (which is really tricky!) It took about 2 1/2 hours. No one was grading above us so we (the four going for 4th kyu) were the last on the floor.

I was pleased to arrive home to a hot bubble bath, but I must remember to stretch next time. Really sore legs for about three days: Odd muscles that got heavily used in the fitness and cardio routines rather than in karate. Made walking for the next few days a bit of a challenge.

That was my last grading with no fighting required. I am now a green belt and from here on in there will always be sparring at the end of each grading. I attended my first official sparring class last night and it’s not so much fun having them hit back at you. I got a couple of kicks to the head that made my ears pop and my jaw still can’t chew hard on one side. I have bruising on my knees, upper arms and chest. My back is sore and I feel quite fragile. This was an easy class (“Don’t hurt the new green belts, we don’t want to frighten them off”). Whew! I worry that I might burst into tears if I get hurt too much :-s

I got told off for; hitting too hard (It’s about technique not strength), not kicking hard enough, for being hit in the head (I wasn’t blocking) and for grabbing a kick (I wouldn’t have been able to if they weren’t being ‘gentle’) I can’t seem to win – not that it’s about winning. Sigh, it’s the first class though. So I’ll have to suck it up, keep my mouth shut, my guard up and try not to cry.
Seido Dunedin - Those that graded and some of those who watched. I'm at the back 4th from the right. My son, Jack, my husband, Seán, my daughter, Zoë, my step-son, Joseph, and my step-daughter, Lorna, are all in the picture as well. Another son, Jed, was at the grading but had to rush off to rugby before the pix was taken.

Mini break

On top of Mount Iron

I’m just back from a four-day mini break up around Central Otago. We stayed two nights in Wanaka at a spa pool complex. There were seven pools (apparently all different temperatures) set in an outdoor area with an additional two swimming pools. It was heaven for my sore legs (karate – another story). We had several sessions in the pools, day, night – even in the rain at one point. I could only stay in the hot pools for about 10 minutes and then I have to cool off in the bigger pools.
Lake Wanaka

It’s between seasons so the town was really relaxed and quiet. The autumn colours were fantastic and the weather mild and sunny. It was just such a luxury to have time to nothing and nothing to do in it. Wanaka is an area that I am very familiar with – lots of family holidays over the years – so now I can just visit with nothing more to do than stroll along the lake front, wander up a hill or two, sit and have a coffee with a book and a roaring fire and feel no pressure to have to explore or see and do anything. It was fabulous.Lake Wanaka

We spent another night over the hills in Queenstown. It was misty and grey most of the time here, but we found warm spots to sit and relax in. It became a necessity for a place to have an open fire before we would go in. On Tuesday night I stopped for a port at a bar and the fire was so huge and so hot we could only sit in front of it for a few minutes before retreating to another chair. By Wednesday we had enlarged our requirements to needing; stone work, an open roaring fire, and a sofa that is well enough lit to read by (Hotel rooms are crap to read in!) We found the perfect spot for lunch in Clyde – an old Post Office that is now a café. It had all we wanted for that last wee luxurious time of eating, reading and coffeeing before heading home to the family.Diamond Lake