I remember this moment

My daughter, Senpai Zoë, hugs (holds) me after the fortieth fight.


Aaaahhhhhh, I feel like I can breathe again. It's now a month (yesterday) since my shodan grading. I've been ill and miserable for most of that time - and that was so unexpected. It really took the gloss of my achievement. I started to wonder if I had really done the grading at all - I was feeling so old, and tired, and lethargic.

But yesterday, and today, I have suddenly started to feel like myself again. I have some energy, I have a little excitement brewing about my next steps in the karate journey, and I can look at the grading photos and think, phew! That was me and I was OK!

My kyu grade days are over - I'm feeling sad about that. I had some great classes and teachers in those six years. Someone told me recently that moving up to our black belt class is like the transition between secondary school and university. The teaching is less structured, the learning is at your own instigation and pace, no one hassles you or reminds you of your syllabus. You have to work out what to do and why. There is no more being drilled in the basics. You need to be totally self-disciplined. The journey really does start again.

I had my first shodan class yesterday - a full hour of bo work. Loving the stick!

Crash city

Unbelievable. Three weeks out and I have giardiasis, a cold sore and a sty in my eye. Shit (literally) for three weeks. Lucky it's post grading I guess, but I feel old and tired and sick as! Also self diagnosed with PGD - post grading depression. Previous six months was a piece of cake compared with this :)

Shodan - 7 May 2011

Done and dusted.

Exhausted, and I don't know what to feel about it all just yet.

More later...

One week to go

Wow! The weeks fly past don't they? In Wellington for a long weekend. Not a gi in sight. Very strange times. I'll be pleased when it's done. The question at the moment isn't 'will I forget?' it's more, 'how will I cope when I do forget?'

Breathe, lower the stance, relax, and just let it flow. As my husband likes to say..."you've done all the work, it's all in the kete, just let it out now."

Fun times.

Four weeks!

Whoa, this is the big one. Three more serious weeks of training, a quiet week and then my grading. Kinda worried, kinda blasé. Weird times. I know I'm fit, I know I've done heaps but also know that on the day I'll feel every sloppy kick and mistimed technique, and wonder what I should have done more of. When I'm put under pressure it all flies out of my head so quickly.

I don't want to be judged as unworthy.

I hope my spirit, technique and strength all unite to pull me through on the day.

Weary
Jo

First dojo visit of the new year

In town for a bit between holiday spots and I made it to the dojo. The new shinzen is well on its way.

Karl and I went through all of our kata, self defenses (basic and intermediate), and yokosuku. It's good to be back. Off for a wee run now. I haven't quite formalised any training plans yet - working on it at Pounawea - and the 'start' will coincide with the start of the karate year on January 24.

It will be great to have a date to work to - but I know what to do. Know my syllabus, get super fit.