Expectations

I have disappointed one of my most regular bookbus patrons. I am annoyed at feeling guilty that I have disappointed him. He is a longtime (forever) resident of Ravensbourne, a small harbour side community that I visit once a week with my lovely bus. Mr B visits every week and gets one Large Print action/adventure type book; Wilbur Smith, Clive Cussler, et al. I have, over three years, developed quite a nice wee relationship with Mr B. Probably because he is about the only person who visits this stop each week and of the 45 minutes I am there we chat for 20 minutes. The Ravensbourne School sends down a class about 10.15 and that is Mr B's cue to leave the bus.

He is as deaf as a post (thanks to shelling at Monte Casino and various other WWII hot spots) and probably doesn't wash his clothes quite as often as he should. His teeth are not good. But he is an interesting old chap and having no family of his own is inordinately interested in mine. He was a bit of a runner in his hey day and loves any sports. During rugby season he follows my two boys' games and often knows the score when I don't thanks to the sports roundup in Monday morning’s paper. He enjoys my daughter’s hockey exploits, comparing them frequently to his cleaner’s daughter’s hockey results. Yes, he probably does live vicariously though our children, but where is the harm in that?

Anyway, I have done a couple of half-marathons and a couple of bloke-free triathlons and a couple of Special K duathlons. Mr B loves to hear about them, likes to check my times and basically keep an eye on my training. This has been fine and it was possibly due to his interest that I did the last two. I enjoy the training mightily, but don't get much of a thrill on the day and dislike competing. Last year I took up karate and am quite enamored with it. Love it, enjoy it immensely! Mr B doesn’t quite understand. It's like a secret club and unless you have partaken of the martial art bug it all sounds vaguely ridiculous to a casual observer.

So last week when Mr B started asking about my training and had I got that bike out yet to start getting some miles under my belt, I just straight out said. "I'm not going to be doing anymore triathlons". There was silence. He just looked at me puzzled. So I continued with my spiel. "I want to concentrate on karate and I have done a few of the triathlons and don't feel the need to do anymore.” He just stared at me. I felt that I had to add. “I’ll still be running to keep fit for karate.”

I suppose he ran for twenty years of so, only stopping when injury or age slowed him down. But I feel like I am letting him down, because he just doesn't get karate. We can't discuss it like running trails and times and so on. I feel bad that I have let him down and that is just daft and, as I said, annoys me. I have failed (again) to live up to someone else’s expectations of me. Pfft!

But I really like karate!