Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I just want to lie down

The food thing is going OK, a few illicit mouthfuls yesterday, but generally good-oh. I think, sometimes, it’s luck of the draw as to whether your brain is in the right mode to watch your food intake. I’m trying not to notice it too much, not to think about it, just letting it happen.

I have (pretty much for the first time) asked for my husband’s help (including weighing me once a week – eek!). I usually avoid this as when the inevitable happens and you blow it, someone else is watching and judging (as if you aren’t hard enough on yourself!)

So it is a relaxed MFP (modified food plan, none of this diet nonsense - thank you). I’m eating a lot of the foods I chose to and gently ignoring the others as best as possible.

I have been feeling absolutely shattered, tired, worn out for the last few weeks/months. No idea why (although visiting Dad would have to be one of the most mind and body wearying experiences ever; finding the time, the park, the actual visit, the get-away, and then knowing you have to do it all over again.

I’m fit and healthy and I get enough sleep. But lots of other little things are creeping up on me. My back has been playing up, my right knee is twinging, my left Achilles is tender, and my shoulder is still weak from months ago. Is this old age or am I just falling apart? Whenever I am asked how I am, the answer is always, ‘tired’.

Anyway, I’ve decided to tackle a few more issues while the food thing is happening, so a new book from the library and I am doing back exercises with a vengeance for two weeks to see what will happen. I’m heading down town shortly to buy a new pair of running shoes and see if that helps the knee and Achilles.

The weariness - I’ve bought some multi-vitamins and I’m hoping that cutting out a lot of sugar may help. If not, in a week, or so, I’ll ask for some blood tests. I’ve been on thyroid pills for 10 years or so and maybe the dosage needs to be adjusted again.

I should be bouncing of the walls! I want to be bouncing of the wall.

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